


Tale of Rhys the robo fucker

by Blabner



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Blood and Gore, Emetophobia, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 18:14:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13595622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blabner/pseuds/Blabner
Summary: Handsome Jack was dead.  It had taken Rhys by surprise- he had figured that his idol would have lasted longer thanthat, but when four of what had been basically hobos had killed a supposed titanic death monster, a single lightlyarmed human by comparison doesn’t really stand a chance.  Rhys however, had worked his ass off to avoid that verysquishy, easy to kill human issue.  Well, mostly.





	1. Chapter 1

Handsome Jack was dead. It had taken Rhys by surprise- he had figured that his idol would have lasted longer than that, but when four of what had been basically hobos had killed a supposed titanic death monster, a single lightly armed human by comparison doesn’t really stand a chance. Rhys however, had worked his ass off to avoid that very squishy, easy to kill human issue. Well, mostly.

It’s hard to say what sparked his, some would say, obsession with cybernetics. It didn’t really matter now though, all that work had finally started to pay off! It had taken a few stabs in some select backs, and the help of some friends but finally everything was ready.

Rhys took a deep breath, “Ok, I-I’m ready”

“You sure? You seem pretty anxious bro,” A robotic voice had called from across the room. Vaughn had been doing another frame perfect speed run of some old game Rhys didn’t bother asking the name of, it always surprised him how he could do that and still stay somewhat aware of everything going on in the room. “We could play something to cool your head, if you want?” 

“He’s about to get his whole skeleton removed, I think anxiety is pretty natural, Quasimodo.” Yvette teased. In Vaughn’s defense it wasn’t really his fault that all the fancy gadgets Rhys had given him in combination of him just being a little bit older and clunky had given him something of a hunchback. 

Rhys smiled as he looked up at her more sleek and far prettier (if less functional) design “I’m fine, I just- I’m just really excited.” He beamed up at them and if Yvette had eyes she would’ve been rolling them. “I take it back, there is nothing natural about either of you two.” 

“Wait. HEY! Come on stop calling me that!” And there goes Vaughn finally caught up to being teased. Rhys smiled to himself, glad that he was going to spend his next few months with these dorks. Hopefully he’ll be stable enough to actually be aware of everything for most of it...then again, worst case scenario, maybe being stuck in one apartment for a few months straight might drive him crazy. 

“I’m ready Yvette.” He said with something resembling that Hyperion confidence, laying down down on the operation table and was gently put to sleep.

Rhys awoke in a mountain of pillows and blankets, just the way he liked it. He took a moment to collect himself; From what he could tell he still had all of his senses. “Che-checking,” his voice croaked out, clearly somewhat sore and out of practice but functional, good. He had been about to start to test moving his fingers but was then stopped by a gentle and familiar voice cutting through the silence “Good morning Rhys.” Yvette had entered with a bowl of something, but not moving his head made it hard to see what is was. “M-morning.”

“I saw you starting to come to life and we thought we’d let you cheat as a reward for not dying horribly, Mr.Cyber-spine.” Rhys had known what it was instantly “oh my god yes.”

“I wanted to throw a party and get wasted but then was informed robots can’t get drunk. Roboism I SAY!” The much shorter robot had entered, clearly overcome with excitement from his best friend being awake. “Happy you’re ok, bro!” His holo display made a cute happy face.

“We still need to check him over Vaughn,” She stood over Rhys and began her Nurse protocol Rhys programmed into her scanning his body for any abnormalities as if she hadn’t done that everyday. “Plus, I believe 1 in 5 doctors agree that newly skeletonized patients shouldn't get hammered, bro,” Rhys chuckled, “I’m happy I’m ok too.”

It had taken Rhys a lot longer than he hoped to start moving around far faster than any man should mind you, but longer than Rhys had preferred. Only an hour later he had been sitting up and scarfing down mostly melted peanut butter and jelly ice cream. It only taken him a few hours after that to be able to move around the room with a handy bro to help him not fall over and only an hour after that to do it on his own. Everything seemed to have gone according to plan and with so much risk involved he wanted to click his heels...but ever present if not slight pain he had throughout his body was telling him a bro fist with vaughn would have to suffice.

“Yvette how did all the editions I wanted come along?” Rhys figured since he had been getting taken apart and put back together again, he might aswell get some convenient amenities put into him. 

“It’s me Rhys,” Yvette had said somewhat cocky, he couldn’t really blame her, “Excluding the fact that all your bones are now made out of a new indestructible metal; You now have a built in OZ kit capable of lasting approximately a full day before needing to be refilled, and are now able to walk on surfaces easily in zero gravity, which was a pain in the ass to put in, by the way, and finally the Recover System is fully functional in all three limbs. Be sure to take care of old Goldie, eh?” She chides of his then technically most fragile arm.

“Perfect absolutely perfect!” Rhys did a fist pump jump in the air only to end up regretting it immediately, thankful that the pain had been muscular and would probably go away with a hot bath. “I think I’m gonna go take myself a victory bath,” he had groaned past the ache and headed to the fairly small, if not clean and very well kept bathroom. 

He had drawn his bath and stripped off his claptrap PJs and had started to check himself out in the mirror, and sure enough he was scarless, if it hadn’t been for his internal systems telling him he was mostly metal right now, he might not have believed it. He then very gently and with much more care than probably necessary lowered into the bath. Yep, everything was going perfect. This was the first very large step to achieving his goals and it went perfect. Sure, he had spent every waking moment of his life with his nose pressed up against an echopad, or drafting his 1,000th design of how he needed the new him to function, and yeah he “wasted his youth” and spent every day since he was 16 working on his dream. It hadn’t mattered to him that he was still a virgin and his only friends were robots he made himself, and that in the end if some crazy person threw strong enough acid on him he’d look like one of those old sci-fi murdernators, or whatever they’re called. Speaking of which, He could finally actually watch movies with Vaughn now, instead of just using it as background noise for working on projects.

Yvette had entered the bathroom unperturbed by her creator being butt naked with a freshly cleaned towel. “I’m happy you finally woke up Rhys, I was starting to get worried we’d run out of supplies to take care of you.” That peaked Rhys’s interest.

“What are you talking about? This place had enough supplies to last over a year” He yawned and stretched. “Rhys...It’s been almost a years since you went under” That had made Rhys shoot up, splashing water all over the bathroom mat and earning a grumble from Yvette that went unnoticed. “Really?! W-what happened!?” She had given him a head tilt “You didn’t really think you’d heal that fast even with the most cutting edge technology did you?” Rhys had sheepishly ran his “human” hand through his hair “...maybe?” She had groaned clearly losing her faith in humanity, “We had some complications. Nothing serious, you just underestimated how long it takes the human body to recover,” He’s pretty sure she’d side eye him if she had the anatomy for it, “I had to take it easy on you.” 

Rhys groaned over dramatically “I guess” and that got a chuckle from her. “Try not to do anything to reckless, I’d hate to have to put you back together if you broke yourself...again.” 

“I am not reckless!” She had ‘looked’ at him silently and turned to leave “Whatever you say Rhys.” 

While Rhys soaked he thought of all the consequences that this delayed would have had inevitably caused. He had planned for the worst, financially speaking, but he had also hoped he wouldn’t have to actually use all of it. Well, most of it, at least.

Vaughn had been in charge of the budget as well as the very important job of seeing to it that the right people were paid not to bother them through this whole process. If it’s been a year, and if Rhys knew Hyperion, then the right person had probably changed about 5 times by now. “Hey bro, what’s the budget like?”

Vaughn paused his game, becoming stone stiff and staring off into space as he calculated the balance, “About 10 million dollars” 

“...What.” 

“You heard me bro. 10 million dollars.”

“HOW DO WE HAVE 10 MILLION DOLLARS VAUGHN” Rhys’ hands spasmed around him dramatically, “We should have like a couple hundred or so by this point!?”

“I haven’t had to pay anyone since like the first month, not after that weird guy thing happened.” 

“...what”

“A little after you went to sleep and we were taking care of you, I tried calling to pay the whatever we needed to keep everyone outta our hair, only to get told I don’t need to anymore.”

“...ok. Well. That’s weird.”

“Yeah, I know right!? Well, the AI on the other end just hung up and no one has bothered us about it, or anything, so I just figured roll with it and thank our luck. Other than that one other incident, we’re all peachy, bro.”

“Oh my god,” Rhys was feeling severe emotional whiplash; Between not being dead from reboning, a year having passed, and having ten million dollars, he was overall pleased with the situ-

“Wait.

What other incident?” 

Yvette had taken over for Vaughn, “About a day after that call I detected something trying to survey our system, so I immediately went into caution mode, flipped on all our safety precautions, and cut off all access from everywhere that isn’t our own network.” Her tone sounded slightly annoyed “I had to give up Roboprah.” 

“That’s... also extremely weird, why would anyone have any interest in us? I busted my ass to hide what I was doing, plus we’re in one of the few apartments on the robotics level, tucked into a corner. And we’re next to the industrial grinder, too! I haven’t been able to get a good night of sleep yet!” He thought aloud, disregarding the fact that his last period of unconsciousness was a year long, “No one tried to get in did they?”

“Nope. Those were the only two weird things that happened,” Rhys had felt a slight twinge of unease, but shook his head. “It’s probably nothing. If someone knew what we were up to, they’d have done something by now.

Probably.”


	2. Chapter 2

Rhys had opened the front door with far more drama and fake assured confidence than was entirely necessary. Vaughn following closely behind and Yvette staying to keep, Fort Kick-Ass well guarded. 

“So… what do we say if someone asks who we are?”

“What do you mean?” They walked out into the hallway and began looking around.

“I mean what do we tell people? We should have a story. I would prefer not to tell them we just spent the last year in a cramped apartment doing augmentations behind Hyperion’s back.” Rhys stopped, and took a second to think it over. “I just think we need a plan of some sort.” 

“...we’re interns?” Rhys said less then confidently, “I mean Vaughn, this is assuming no one we know still works here, I mean Hyperion is bad but it’s not that bad.” Rhys stretches his back, still adjusting to his no doubt shiny spine, clearly unconcerned. “I know plenty of people who still owe me a favor, and blackmail for even more, plus ten million dollars, we are more than fine.” Now all Rhys had to do was find said person and get back into it. It’ll probably be a little rough shitty middle management position again, but it’ll beat being an intern.

Rhys expected getting a not shitty job might be a little difficult, but what proved to be far more difficult was finding another person at all. He was on the robotics floor but this was ridiculous. Hell, there weren’t even really any robots; Just spare parts and contraptions to help put them together. “Maybe...it’s a holiday?” Vaughn weakly suggested. “I know Hyperion doesn’t really do holidays but...” He motioned to the almost depressing emptiness around them. It was as good an explanation as any. “Let’s go to a different floor.” Rhys groaned, especially annoyed seeing as they had been walking away from the elevators this whole time looking for anyone. 

“They might have moved all the actual Robotics to a different, larger area and are just using this as storage.” Rhys mused, “It’s only been a year so it make sense that if they made a new space they might not have moved everything over yet.” Vaughn nodded in agreement.

Once they finally got to the elevators, the duo finds that they were all non functional to Rhys’s dismay, and Vaughn’s ever increasing anxiety. They then tried the stairs only for it to be blocked up by concrete. Yes, a solid mass of concrete. “What the hell is going on!?” Vaughn scanned his internal system for any other exits but in his copy of the map, these were the only two he could find. “No...No, no, this can’t be happening.” Rhys couldn’t stop himself from angrily punting a trashcan in his frustration when his echoeye suddenly lit up with Yvette’s familiar not-face. 

“Rhys why are you attacking an innocent trashcan? I thought you were looking for info; Hitting inanimate objects seems like the opposite of getting info.”

“We are trapped in here Yvette.”

“No. Well, okay, yes, currently. But not for long. I’m sure we can find a way out of here.”

“Holy crap, how? What’s going on out there?” Rhys started to make way back towards Fort Kick-ass. 

“Well first of all this whole place is completely abandoned, and on top of that the stairwell is completely blocked off with concrete and the elevator is refusing to work.” Rhys fumed, all the while wondering where the hell someone on Helios station got concrete.

“Is there any fast travel stations in this section?” 

“No. The only pedestrian entrance and exit are the stairs and the elevator.” Rhys sometimes regrets making them so emotional, it hurt to see Vaughn so upset like this. “We have to get out of here.”

“I’ll tell you how we are going to get out of here.” Rhys announced. “We’re going to walk out of here.” 

“How do you plan on doing that?” Yvette’s voice oozed confusion and slight concern that her creator had lost it.

“We’ll go through the cargo area.”

“...um. Rhys?”

“Let me finish. The cargo area connects the repair section to the rest of the robotics level. We can’t jump across the huge gap-”

“Or get through the death field that’ll vaporize use if we go on the conveyor belt,” Vaughn interjected. 

“Or that, but the problem is that we’re looking at this problem all wrong. I can just go out the maintenance door walk up the outside wall go up and over to the other maintenance wall.” 

“That’s great and all but I’m kinda working with one very gravity dependant wheel here, bro.” Vaughn said gesturing to his lower half. 

“If they can get a claptrap unit to do it, then we’ll have you done in like an hour.” 

It ended up taking a day, but to be fair most of the time was eaten up by their searching for parts that actually fit his older model, and Rhys still having to do boring human things like eat and sleep, which he thought was ridiculous honestly. During this entire time Yvette acted preoccupied, like she was thinking something over but decided to not say anything. That is until Rhys was about to leave to go figure out what was going on, blocking the path to the front door.

“Rhys, I don’t know if you've noticed but the camera’s have been watching us.” 

“Yeah, Yvette, they kinda do that.”

“No! That’s not what I mean. They’ve been tracking you and moving around and shit. I thought I was just seeing things, but it kept happening.” Rhys put his hand on hers, trying to provide some comfort. “Yvette, they’re probably motion controlled.” Yvette snatched her hand back as if it had been on fire. “Listen to me,” She sounded frustrated, “They moved even when there wasn’t anything in front of them. The one near the front door has been pointed at it ever since the first time we went through it, and it stayed there, too. It didn’t move back to its original position after a while like every other cameras. Someone’s watching us, Rhys.”

Rhys took a deep breath, trying to consider what this meant. It didn’t really change much though, they still needed to leave this section, but the thought of some shadowy figure watching from above had been a little more than unsettling. “Alright. Sorry I didn’t take you seriously at first Yvette. We’ll try to keep an eye out and not get horribly murdered by getting stabbed in the butt.” That had gotten a chuckle out of her, adding some levity to the situation.

“I’m gonna kill you if you die.” 

“I’ll take good care of him.” Vaughn raised up his robotic hand “Bro fist?”

“Bro fist.” Thus, they brofisted, and even got Yvette to do some brofisting of her own. Much mirth and camaraderie was expressed. They were dorks.

It had been the last time the three were all together in person for a very long time. 

Rhys had failed to consider how much he hated walking, but otherwise his plan worked perfectly. The maintenance entrances never had any passwords or anything on them so after a quick decontamination they happily entered the hallway beyond only to find themselves face to face with…

...Nothing.


	3. Chapter 3

Not to say that Robotics was gone, simply that it was empty of staff and of any sign of activity that the technically unemployed Hyperion resident hoped for. The absurd futility of it filled Rhys with a fury.

Rhys enacted his righteous rage against yet another poor trash can, kicking it a good distance across the hallway, spilling the gore that was three candy wrappers and a can of TORGUE: MUSCLE EXPLOSION. “Bro, really?” Rhys seemed to have gained the habit of attacking inanimate objects whenever he got frustrated during the past few years. It had been something Vaughn never particularly cared about, but it was better than hitting animate objects.

“Let’s chill for a bit. I know you muss-Oh boy.” Vaughn was then cut off by a loader bot quickly turning around the corner and advancing toward their direction. It had stopped abruptly, a few feet in front of them. 

“Hi.” It made a very stiff, but extremely adorable hand wave. Rhys’s relief had been palpable. Thank god. It hadn’t been a human being but it was something; Robots are better than people anyway. “Identify yourselves.” 

Rhys approached confidence oozing off of the lanky man. “My name is Rhys and I-”

“We’re interns!” Vaughn all but shouted nervously. Before Rhys had time to react to Vaughn’s interruption, the loader bot had began scanning its internal data bases. “No employee named Rhys Intern has appropriate clearance for this area. Intruders detected.” Rhys chuckled nervously holding up his hands in a placating manner. “Now now big guy, calm down. My name isn’t Rhys In-” The loaderbot had begun digistructing a gun, but before Rhys had the chance to process the full situation he was picked up by Vaughn’s surprisingly strong arms. 

Vaughn at his top speed was able to go approximately 11,000 feet a second. He didn’t go that fast, seeing as Rhys still had been mostly squishy human parts, but nonetheless Rhys’ breath was taken away and a light turn’s whiplash nearly gave the unprepared passenger a broken neck. He was set down gently on the ground as he tried to stop the most violent vertigo he’s ever had. Rhys internally patted himself on the back for not puking everywhere. He heard a loud noise to his right and found Vaughn had literally ripped off a vent cover, bits of the wall still stuck to the screws. “Come on bro.” 

Rhys nodded, instantly regretted, it and then quickly crawled in. The vent itself was actually quite large. Rhys never really understood why they even had these things, Vaughn was able to fit in it easily by just slightly lowering his wheel’s suspension. It wasn’t really good for his shock absorbers, but that wasn’t really the most pressing point at the time.

Vaughn quickly covered the vent back up so that it looked normal at a glance, ignoring the chipped pieces of Helios drywall on the floor. They heard the enraged robot run past quickly, but thankfully it decided to go down another completely random hallway and not look at or worry for slightly askew vent covers. 

After a quick look over to make sure Rhys’s brain was in fact not scrambled, Vaughn had checked through his maps of Helios and found that this vent should lead to one of the Hubs of Heroism, specifically a cafeteria in the Hub of Heroism. Rhys could go for something to loudly and hopefully very annoyingly eat while he chewed out the fuckers in the “security” office for having a loaderbot’s first reaction to a misunderstanding be murder. He knew this was Hyperion, but come on. 

“It’s weird that it was loader bot and not, you know, a guard.” Vaughn mused aloud quietly as they made their way up a slightly awkward upward sloped section. Rhys grunted in acknowledgement, “I mean, I get why we have human guards now.” Vaughn added quickly.

They made it to their destination only to be greeted through the vents by the figure of two more loaderbots and an otherwise suspiciously empty cafeteria. This whole “no people and confusion” shit was starting to get really annoying. As if summoned by Rhys’s befuddlement, a man approached the robots through a pair of the cafeteria’s double doors. “Identify yourself.” both machines said in sync. “Employee #13070” He said with a practiced frustration. They both stood still, scanning their internal databases quickly replying once again in perfect, monotonous harmony. “Human dinner time begins at 21:00 and ends 23:00 it is 16:17. Please return in 4 hours and forty three minutes and twenty-seven seconds.” The one on the left then independently digitructs a small analog clock and held it out for the human. “Humans do not have internal clocks. Take this for your puny meat brain.”

The man clearly insulted smacks the clock out of the robot’s hand smashing it against the ground. “Listen you dumb fucking tin heads. I wasn’t able to eat during our ‘human lunchtime’ cause your lord and master decided to give me fucking paperwork a mile long this morning.” He started screaming “I’VE DONE ENOUGH FOR YOU FUCKERS AND I THINK I DESERVE TO FUCKING EAT!” 

And just like that, bullets. The one on the right moves over and presses a button to call the cleaning crew. 

“I did not know humans could work so quickly.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“He was able to process 1.60934 kilometers of papers in 9 hours.” It then returned standing directly to the right of it’s companion. 

“The human was exaggerating. I believe this is called hyperbole.”

“Oh. Dumb.” 

“I don’t think he could process on par with a sixteen kilohertz processor.”

Humans in Hyperion yellow jumpsuits quickly showed up and began to quietly, meekly and efficiently clean up the corpse and the broken clock.

“You know a lot about humans. It is very educational.” 

“Thank you. Did you know they are sexually aroused by feet.”

“Oh. Gross.”

Rhys made the executive decision that they keep going til they found somewhere with less...murdery. It occurred to Rhys that he might end up needing to leave Helios entirely, but he quickly pushed that thought aside. The ventilation system became a maze and Vaughn started having a hard time figuring out exactly where they were. Every time they peeked out they just saw more loaderbots, presumably with similar murder-ons. The only real safety they could find was the safety to officially claim that they were lost. 

They had been in there for what felt like years looking for a safe enough spot to get out, when Rhys saw a off colored section of the vent. He was beyond giving a fuck at this time, and honestly considering taking a power nap, so he just kept moving forward into the discolored passage. If it was between the unknown danger and more crouch-walking, he would take the reaper’s hand gladly. 

Rhys feet left him and slid along his ass until he was suddenly in free fall and everything became a blur. He fell not too far, but still too far before slamming in a very unforgiving steel floor. 

“Oh crap, more boils!” That voice was...familiar. 

Rhys’s brain started catching up to him and he one by one started to realize everything that was going on. In this order:

Ouch,

Vaughn, still and prone on the floor next to him,

The material he had mistaken for vent was painted cardboard,

He had to pee really bad,

And lastly he was in the office with a 15 foot tall blue Handsome Jack. 

It turns out that Rhys is in fact not hallucinating. The whole “15 foot tall blue Handsome Jack” thing was just an A.I. designed to mimic him and had happened to like projecting himself on the large window facing Elpis. You know, because he was so humble. The image of the man flickered quickly and then appeared in a holographic form looking at him like he had smelled a particularly bad fart. Rhys nervously ran his hand through his hair. “H-Handsome Jack?” 

“Yeah. Hey. You mind telling me why you’re bringing all this meat and Frankencrap into my frickin’ office?” 

“Well I- uh. I-”

“Hey, wait! Aren’t you that weirdo down in the robotics section?” He accused, needlessly looking over to a monitor now displaying footage from those suspicious cameras Yvette had pointed out earlier. Rubbing his chin, a knowing look of satisfaction dawned on the see through cerulean CEO. “Yeah, you are!” He said, answering himself smugly, as if he could manage any expression at the moment. “I was planning on going down there later today to investigate, but hey! Look at you saving me time! Way to go, slugger.” Jack grinned ear to ear. 

“You’re welcome?” To say Rhys was out of his element would have been the understatement of the year. “Yeah. I uh…” Rhys stalled. Should he tell him the truth? He was kinda hiding new technology behind Hyperion’s back, but what else was he supposed to tell him? It’s not like Jack couldn’t easily go fact check him by simply going there. “I kinda just woke up recently,” He laughed nervously running his meat hand through his hair. “I was a little confused by the whole no people thing for a while but uhhhh... yeah.” 

“Fascinating pumpkin, but I want to know how you got on my space station.” Jack starts circling Rhys and Vaughn slowly, holographic footfalls clicking against metal. 

“Y-Yeah. I’ll tell you anything you n-need to know.” Rhys slowly starts to stand up, legs trembling like a fawn as he did.

“Oh. Good. I thought- see I thought I was gonna have to get violent there for a second.” Rhys’s ascent was quickly stopped by wall mounted turret yet unnoticed made a noise.

Pew!

“Or more violent.” Jack adds nonchalantly. 

Rhys shrieked out in pain as his he looked down at his right leg. A bright green corrosive pulse now left its payload all along his flesh, and already he could see the surface of his skin beginning to twist and roil. He new that with everything he had done to himself that anything corrosive would hurt even more than it would normally, but this was hell on earth. The pain was different than anything he’d ever experienced before, which was a lot seeing as he willingly chopped of his own arm. The single shot’s effects eventually ended and all was left was his shiny new Tibia and Fibula.

Contrasting to Rhys’ horrifying agony, Jack let out a squeal of delight at the cyberized revelation. “Are you a frickin’ terminator!?” He squatted down next to Rhys, inspecting the limb more carefully.

“No, I’m not a f-fucking terminator,” Rhys forced out between whimpers as his echoeye helpfully informed him that the restoration system was beginning. As if the horrifying pain of the process weren’t indication enough. Wonderful. 

“Hey! Language! Oh, wait, there’s more?” 

Rhys looked up at Jack and found him staring at his leg as it started to regrow before the A.I.’s own eyes. Rhys didn’t think he could handle watching that, though, the pain alone was already making him cry profusely, and decided to keep his eyes elsewhere. He saw the turret aim at the his leg again. He really didn’t feel like losing another limb to a curious A.I. though so Rhys quickly interjected, “I-It only works once p-per limb!” He said waving his right arm in front of him. 

“Cool.”

Pew!

Another green mass of laser-borne acid landed on his left leg, scouring it even as his right healed, and between the agony and gore of his own anatomy before him, he couldn’t help but retch violently. He made sure to face away from Jack and his injured limbs, if that's any consolation. “Oh come on cupcake, seriously!?” 

“Sorry!” He sobbed through a mouthful of tears and vomit. 

“You’re cleaning that up. And the blood.” He wasn’t serious right?


End file.
